People often say rebound relationships don’t work. I don’t agree as there are plenty of happy couples out there who met shortly after breaking up with someone else.
So what defines a rebound relationship? Usually it is where someone starts going out with another person very soon after leaving or being left by a former lover. If you have met somebody who seems to tick all the boxes you were looking for in a partner, I certainly would not dump them. Yes, they could dump you, but so could anyone new that you meet; so why worry about it. You could just as easily be the person they have been looking for.
Relationships break down for all sorts of reasons. It is actually more common for two people to grow apart rather than separate due to an affair or similar reason. If your current partner split from his/her ex, they did it for a reason. If they had been together for a long time, they probably grew apart. Or they may have realised that once the initial attraction had worn off, they were not compatible enough to sustain a long term relationship.
If your new lover has just recently rejoined the single scene, you do need to be a little careful. But you would proceed slowly when dating any new person; wouldn’t you? Try to find out why they split with their partner, but for heaven’s sake, don’t make them feel like they are being interrogated. Men in particular are very slow to speak about their feelings. If he doesn’t want to talk about it, do not jump to the conclusion that he doesn’t like you or find you attractive.
I would also advise against asking to see a picture of the former partner. You do not want to start comparing yourself to them and it is difficult not to do this when you know what they look like. If you are part of the same social circle, it could be even harder not to draw comparisons. If you don’t do it yourself, you may find some of your mutual friends do. Try to discourage/ignore these conversations as they are unhelpful. Nobody knows what happened between a couple other than those two people.
If you are the one on the rebound you need to be sure of your motivation for getting involved. Are you looking for a short fling or a long term love affair? Whatever you do, don’t get involved with another man to make your ex jealous or for revenge. It rarely works and it isn’t fair to play with the new persons emotions.
You may find, just like I did, that your rebound relationship never ends and in fact turns into the love affair of the century. We all need some more fun in our life so try to enjoy yourself with your new partner and see where it leads. Whoever says you should avoid rebound relationships is missing out on a whole lot of fun.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Should You Try Getting Over A Relationship Or Put Your Energy Into Getting Your Ex Back
When we split from a lover, we can either try getting over a relationship or try getting them back. It obviously depends on whether you still love your ex as to which one you chose.
If you do want your ex back, you need to make every attempt to achieve this. You and only you know whether he or she makes you happy and would make your life complete. Your family and friends may try to advise you but remember that they are not impartial. They love you and hopefully want what is best for you but sometimes people act with their own interests in mind.
If your friends are all single, they may have been jealous of your love affair and would prefer to keep you single. If they didn’t like your partner, they are not going to encourage you to get him/her back.
Couples, as we know, break up for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes there is no coming back from the split and you have to accept it. Often especially if it was caused by something trivial or a misunderstanding, you could salvage things if only one of you would swallow their pride and initiate contact. Usually this will have to be the man as society still thinks it is the man who should do the chasing. A woman who makes the first move can be seen as being desperate.
Examine your own feelings before you decide which option to choose. Do you want to get back with your ex, to dump them so they know how it feels? These are games for teenagers to play so if that is your motivation, do yourself a favour and move on. But if you really do believe this person to be your soul mate, you need to plan a way to get them back in your life.
Try enlisting the help of their family and friends. Now there is a fine line between asking for help and becoming a stalker so take it slowly. Just happen to be at the places these people hang out i.e. bump into them by accident and see how ms/mr ex is doing. Make sure you are looking good so that the reports back are favourable. If you haven’t slept for days, plaster on the makeup. You do not want it going back to your lover that you looked miserable and suicidal.
You could always try the direct approach and contact your former partner. Ask them out for a friendly drink or meal and see where it goes. You never know they could have been dying to make contact but were afraid that you would not entertain them. People are funny creatures –they will often let fear of the unknown hinder their future happiness.
Whatever you decide, remember that we only get one shot at life. It is not a dress rehearsal. Getting over a relationship or getting back with your ex are both achievable, the question is which one do you want to succeed at?
If you do want your ex back, you need to make every attempt to achieve this. You and only you know whether he or she makes you happy and would make your life complete. Your family and friends may try to advise you but remember that they are not impartial. They love you and hopefully want what is best for you but sometimes people act with their own interests in mind.
If your friends are all single, they may have been jealous of your love affair and would prefer to keep you single. If they didn’t like your partner, they are not going to encourage you to get him/her back.
Couples, as we know, break up for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes there is no coming back from the split and you have to accept it. Often especially if it was caused by something trivial or a misunderstanding, you could salvage things if only one of you would swallow their pride and initiate contact. Usually this will have to be the man as society still thinks it is the man who should do the chasing. A woman who makes the first move can be seen as being desperate.
Examine your own feelings before you decide which option to choose. Do you want to get back with your ex, to dump them so they know how it feels? These are games for teenagers to play so if that is your motivation, do yourself a favour and move on. But if you really do believe this person to be your soul mate, you need to plan a way to get them back in your life.
Try enlisting the help of their family and friends. Now there is a fine line between asking for help and becoming a stalker so take it slowly. Just happen to be at the places these people hang out i.e. bump into them by accident and see how ms/mr ex is doing. Make sure you are looking good so that the reports back are favourable. If you haven’t slept for days, plaster on the makeup. You do not want it going back to your lover that you looked miserable and suicidal.
You could always try the direct approach and contact your former partner. Ask them out for a friendly drink or meal and see where it goes. You never know they could have been dying to make contact but were afraid that you would not entertain them. People are funny creatures –they will often let fear of the unknown hinder their future happiness.
Whatever you decide, remember that we only get one shot at life. It is not a dress rehearsal. Getting over a relationship or getting back with your ex are both achievable, the question is which one do you want to succeed at?
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Do You Want To Be The Woman Men Adore And Never Want To Leave
Many women dream of becoming the women men adore and never want to leave. But just as many women go about it in the totally wrong way and end up losing one guy after another. What is the secret? I'll show you.
The first thing you have to do is totally change your way of thinking. Our society has done a huge disservice to men and women by creating unrealistic expectations of what men and women should be.
For example, for most of our history we have been taught that men are overly sexual and that they really only want sex. We've been led to believe that if we give our man enough sex he'll love us forever and never leave. That is complete and utter nonsense!
Yes men like sex, but surprise, so do women! Women have just as high of a sex drive as men but the difference is our society has encouraged men to follow their sex drive while women have been taught that 'good girls' will wait until they're married. The result? Men judge their 'manliness' on the number of conquests they make and women are frustrated and angry that they are forced to put their needs on hold.
So if you want to keep your man happy you need to get over the idea that he needs sex all the time or that he needs it more than you. Men and women really aren't that different in what they need and want from a relationship. One word can describe what they want: connection.
As humans we all need to feel connected to others. If you can remember that and base your relationship on that fact you will have a great chance of making your man love you forever.
A connection can be made emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. The more of these types of connections you and your man have the stronger your relationship will be. If you want to keep him in love with you stay in love with yourself. Don't get sidetracked and put all your desires on hold to accommodate your man. Most men will be flattered with that in the short term but in the long run they'll get bored.
After all, you have to remember who you were when you met, he was attracted to that person so why would you change and become some boring, clingy person now?
The women men adore and never want to leave knows all of theses things. She gives her man the connections he needs while keeping her own identity intact. She doesn't put his needs above hers, but she lets him know that she is his biggest fan and loves and accepts him unconditionally.
The first thing you have to do is totally change your way of thinking. Our society has done a huge disservice to men and women by creating unrealistic expectations of what men and women should be.
For example, for most of our history we have been taught that men are overly sexual and that they really only want sex. We've been led to believe that if we give our man enough sex he'll love us forever and never leave. That is complete and utter nonsense!
Yes men like sex, but surprise, so do women! Women have just as high of a sex drive as men but the difference is our society has encouraged men to follow their sex drive while women have been taught that 'good girls' will wait until they're married. The result? Men judge their 'manliness' on the number of conquests they make and women are frustrated and angry that they are forced to put their needs on hold.
So if you want to keep your man happy you need to get over the idea that he needs sex all the time or that he needs it more than you. Men and women really aren't that different in what they need and want from a relationship. One word can describe what they want: connection.
As humans we all need to feel connected to others. If you can remember that and base your relationship on that fact you will have a great chance of making your man love you forever.
A connection can be made emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. The more of these types of connections you and your man have the stronger your relationship will be. If you want to keep him in love with you stay in love with yourself. Don't get sidetracked and put all your desires on hold to accommodate your man. Most men will be flattered with that in the short term but in the long run they'll get bored.
After all, you have to remember who you were when you met, he was attracted to that person so why would you change and become some boring, clingy person now?
The women men adore and never want to leave knows all of theses things. She gives her man the connections he needs while keeping her own identity intact. She doesn't put his needs above hers, but she lets him know that she is his biggest fan and loves and accepts him unconditionally.
Monday, January 24, 2011
What Is The Remedy For A Broken Heart
Unless you have been lucky, you have probably been badly hurt when a relationship ended. Just what is the remedy for a broken heart?
Your first step is to see if your relationship can be salvaged. Sometimes in the heat of the situation we can do things we later regret. Perhaps you dumped your other half but now think you were too hasty. Why not see will he or she take you back? It is worth apologising and asking for another chance if you feel this person is your significant other.
It may be that you both said things that you regret. Often couples can come under severe stress due to financial worries, concerns over children, health and not to mention job related stress. Consequently resulting in unfair treatment to one another, which then leads to the possible breakup. Evaluate if this is one of the primary problems and then determine if your relationship is worth saving. If it is you can go to counselling for unbiased help and advice. It is worth a shot as getting back together with your loved one is a very good remedy for a broken heart.
Sometimes though a relationship ends and it is final. Yes, you will feel like you could never be happy again but with time your feelings will change. Treat the period after a difficult breakup exactly like you would if that person had died. Allow yourself time to grieve for what you have lost; but then acknowledge it is time to move on.
You need to look after yourself. Why not take that holiday you always wanted or go visit some family and friends. Make changes to your daily routine. Your life will be different now so instead of approaching it with fear, grab this opportunity with both hands. Who knows, something or someone better may just be around that next corner.
I do not believe that we only have one soul mate in life. Sure partners who meet when they are teenagers and are still together in their eighties are great. But there are other twosomes out there who may have made mistakes in their respective pasts, but have now found happiness again.
We change as people as we travel through the journey of life. Sometimes our significant other changes as well and as a couple we adapt and stick together. Often though, we find we want different things and while you may be heartbroken at first, you may ultimately be happier with someone else or even on your own.
If you find that your heartbreak is overwhelming, please speak to someone. There are plenty of counsellors and charities that help those who are suffering from a broken heart. Consider helping others as well. When we go and visit sick people in hospital, help out at a children’s school or visit elderly neighbours, we often forget about our own problems.
It is very easy to wallow in feelings of sadness, but that will only breed despair. Life is too short to be miserable. You have complete control over your feelings. So get out there and find yourself the best remedy for a broken heart.
Your first step is to see if your relationship can be salvaged. Sometimes in the heat of the situation we can do things we later regret. Perhaps you dumped your other half but now think you were too hasty. Why not see will he or she take you back? It is worth apologising and asking for another chance if you feel this person is your significant other.
It may be that you both said things that you regret. Often couples can come under severe stress due to financial worries, concerns over children, health and not to mention job related stress. Consequently resulting in unfair treatment to one another, which then leads to the possible breakup. Evaluate if this is one of the primary problems and then determine if your relationship is worth saving. If it is you can go to counselling for unbiased help and advice. It is worth a shot as getting back together with your loved one is a very good remedy for a broken heart.
Sometimes though a relationship ends and it is final. Yes, you will feel like you could never be happy again but with time your feelings will change. Treat the period after a difficult breakup exactly like you would if that person had died. Allow yourself time to grieve for what you have lost; but then acknowledge it is time to move on.
You need to look after yourself. Why not take that holiday you always wanted or go visit some family and friends. Make changes to your daily routine. Your life will be different now so instead of approaching it with fear, grab this opportunity with both hands. Who knows, something or someone better may just be around that next corner.
I do not believe that we only have one soul mate in life. Sure partners who meet when they are teenagers and are still together in their eighties are great. But there are other twosomes out there who may have made mistakes in their respective pasts, but have now found happiness again.
We change as people as we travel through the journey of life. Sometimes our significant other changes as well and as a couple we adapt and stick together. Often though, we find we want different things and while you may be heartbroken at first, you may ultimately be happier with someone else or even on your own.
If you find that your heartbreak is overwhelming, please speak to someone. There are plenty of counsellors and charities that help those who are suffering from a broken heart. Consider helping others as well. When we go and visit sick people in hospital, help out at a children’s school or visit elderly neighbours, we often forget about our own problems.
It is very easy to wallow in feelings of sadness, but that will only breed despair. Life is too short to be miserable. You have complete control over your feelings. So get out there and find yourself the best remedy for a broken heart.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Why Men Leave Relationships
If you are a women who is struggling to keep your relationship intact and you want to know why men leave relationships, this is the article for you. As humans, we have the tendency to make things more complicated than they have to be. This is compounded by some misconceptions that are strongly rooted in our society.
Many people have heard the saying: "Men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love". The problem is that doesn't have to be the way it is. While there might be some truth to that it just perpetuates a common flaw in our way of thinking: that men want and need sex more than women and that sex is all men need to be happy.
That's simply not true. For the most part men and women have similar sex drives but our society, and really throughout history, men have been encouraged to 'sow their wild oats' and women have been told they have to be 'good girls'. So men are used to giving in to their desires and women are used to putting their desires on hold.
No wonder relationships seem like such a challenge! Half the population doesn't feel like they have any control over their urges and the other half feels like their urges are wrong!
For anyone who wants a stable loving relationship you will need to re-think many of the concepts you were brought up to believe. The truth is that anyone, men or women, will leave unfulfilled relationships and all but the most shallow people want to be fulfilled in many ways not just sexually.
In order to really have a loving long term relationship you need to have connections: physical, spiritual, and emotional. These are necessary for the success of any long term relationship. All people want to feel like they are accepted, understood, desired, and loved by their partners.
When one or more of these needs aren't met the relationship will start to fall apart. For any women who wants to know why men leave relationships so they can prevent it from happening to them, just remember to connect with your man on all of these levels, and both of you will be happy, fulfilled, and committed to the relationship forever.
Many people have heard the saying: "Men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love". The problem is that doesn't have to be the way it is. While there might be some truth to that it just perpetuates a common flaw in our way of thinking: that men want and need sex more than women and that sex is all men need to be happy.
That's simply not true. For the most part men and women have similar sex drives but our society, and really throughout history, men have been encouraged to 'sow their wild oats' and women have been told they have to be 'good girls'. So men are used to giving in to their desires and women are used to putting their desires on hold.
No wonder relationships seem like such a challenge! Half the population doesn't feel like they have any control over their urges and the other half feels like their urges are wrong!
For anyone who wants a stable loving relationship you will need to re-think many of the concepts you were brought up to believe. The truth is that anyone, men or women, will leave unfulfilled relationships and all but the most shallow people want to be fulfilled in many ways not just sexually.
In order to really have a loving long term relationship you need to have connections: physical, spiritual, and emotional. These are necessary for the success of any long term relationship. All people want to feel like they are accepted, understood, desired, and loved by their partners.
When one or more of these needs aren't met the relationship will start to fall apart. For any women who wants to know why men leave relationships so they can prevent it from happening to them, just remember to connect with your man on all of these levels, and both of you will be happy, fulfilled, and committed to the relationship forever.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Why Men Leave Pregnant Women
If you have wondered, hopefully not from personal experience, why men leave pregnant women there are many reasons. If the woman is his wife than it will probably be completely unexpected; after all he committed to the marriage why bail now?
Other than the unexpectedness of a married man leaving his pregnant wife, it's usually pretty easy to spot the type of 'man' who would leave his pregnant girlfriend. I think all women need to use common sense before they get intimately involved with any man.
First of all if you are entering into an intimate relationship with a man before you have really gotten to know him you have to be aware that there are many potential dangers besides unexpected pregnancy. If you've been in the relationship for at least a little time there have probably been many signs that this guy is a loser.
Women are too quick to 'forgive' bad behavior in the men they date. They will say things like "he's got a good heart', "that's just the way he was raised", "it's a guy thing", etc. to justify the selfish and inconsiderate things their boyfriends do. If you're this type of woman you really should get counseling so you can understand why you would settle for this type of relationship.
The reality is that some men just don't like women and they get off on treating them badly. For some guys it can be a real ego boost to treat his girlfriend like trash and have her keep coming back for more. If you're in a relationship with that type of guy it's not too much of a stretch to think he might leave you if you got pregnant.
Any man who is verbally, emotionally, and especially physically abusive will more than likely leave you whenever the relationship isn't convenient for him. If your man exhibits any of these traits you should make darn sure that you don't accidentally get pregnant. Even if he doesn't leave, he is already abusive and once you are 'tied down' with a child that abuse is almost guaranteed to increase.
So if you are with a man who doesn't treat you with love, affection, and respect, you shouldn't be surprised to find yourself all on your own if you become pregnant. I'm not sure why men leave pregnant women expect that the term 'man' is probably not a very accurate description of these types of guys.
Other than the unexpectedness of a married man leaving his pregnant wife, it's usually pretty easy to spot the type of 'man' who would leave his pregnant girlfriend. I think all women need to use common sense before they get intimately involved with any man.
First of all if you are entering into an intimate relationship with a man before you have really gotten to know him you have to be aware that there are many potential dangers besides unexpected pregnancy. If you've been in the relationship for at least a little time there have probably been many signs that this guy is a loser.
Women are too quick to 'forgive' bad behavior in the men they date. They will say things like "he's got a good heart', "that's just the way he was raised", "it's a guy thing", etc. to justify the selfish and inconsiderate things their boyfriends do. If you're this type of woman you really should get counseling so you can understand why you would settle for this type of relationship.
The reality is that some men just don't like women and they get off on treating them badly. For some guys it can be a real ego boost to treat his girlfriend like trash and have her keep coming back for more. If you're in a relationship with that type of guy it's not too much of a stretch to think he might leave you if you got pregnant.
Any man who is verbally, emotionally, and especially physically abusive will more than likely leave you whenever the relationship isn't convenient for him. If your man exhibits any of these traits you should make darn sure that you don't accidentally get pregnant. Even if he doesn't leave, he is already abusive and once you are 'tied down' with a child that abuse is almost guaranteed to increase.
So if you are with a man who doesn't treat you with love, affection, and respect, you shouldn't be surprised to find yourself all on your own if you become pregnant. I'm not sure why men leave pregnant women expect that the term 'man' is probably not a very accurate description of these types of guys.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Why Men Leave Their Wives
Today's women can find it challenging sometimes to keep their marriages intact and happy. Many women wonder why men leave their wives and what they can do to make sure it doesn't happen to them.
The truth of the matter is that our society has made it very difficult for men and women to find long term loving relationships. Why? Because the rules our society has adopted are based on inaccurate information.
One of the most obvious misconception that is pervasive throughout our society is the idea that men only want sex and/or have a much higher sex drive than women. The truth is that men and women have similar sex drives but men have been encouraged, by society, to fulfill their needs while women have been discouraged from having sex until they are married.
This leads to many misunderstandings between men and women and how they approach their relationships. It might mean a man will be more tempted to cheat on his wife because after all, it's in his nature. And it could mean that a women uses sex with the hopes of keeping her husband in love with her so he will stay in the marriage.
If we really got to the bottom of things though we would understand that men and women want basically the same things in a relationship. Both want to feel loved, respected, and desired by their partners. When you break it down like that it doesn't really seem all that hard, does it?
If you want to keep your marriage strong try to meet your husbands needs...all of them, not just sexually. A word of caution here though. Because of the way our society has told us to behave women have the tendency to think that they have to meet their husbands needs even if that means ignoring their own. No! All that will do is make you resentful and bitter and that won't keep a marriage intact.
While it's important to try to meet your husbands needs it can't be done to the detriment of your own. Don't put your wants and needs on hold to satisfy your husband, you'll be unhappy, he'll be unhappy (and bored) and the marriage won't last. For a marriage to thrive both parties need to be happy, healthy, stable, and have their needs being met on a regular basis.
So for any women who wants to know why men leave their wives it's usually because his needs aren't being met, and I don't just mean his sexual needs. I mean on some level he doesn't feel like you love, desire, or respect him and he will try to find someone who will.
The truth of the matter is that our society has made it very difficult for men and women to find long term loving relationships. Why? Because the rules our society has adopted are based on inaccurate information.
One of the most obvious misconception that is pervasive throughout our society is the idea that men only want sex and/or have a much higher sex drive than women. The truth is that men and women have similar sex drives but men have been encouraged, by society, to fulfill their needs while women have been discouraged from having sex until they are married.
This leads to many misunderstandings between men and women and how they approach their relationships. It might mean a man will be more tempted to cheat on his wife because after all, it's in his nature. And it could mean that a women uses sex with the hopes of keeping her husband in love with her so he will stay in the marriage.
If we really got to the bottom of things though we would understand that men and women want basically the same things in a relationship. Both want to feel loved, respected, and desired by their partners. When you break it down like that it doesn't really seem all that hard, does it?
If you want to keep your marriage strong try to meet your husbands needs...all of them, not just sexually. A word of caution here though. Because of the way our society has told us to behave women have the tendency to think that they have to meet their husbands needs even if that means ignoring their own. No! All that will do is make you resentful and bitter and that won't keep a marriage intact.
While it's important to try to meet your husbands needs it can't be done to the detriment of your own. Don't put your wants and needs on hold to satisfy your husband, you'll be unhappy, he'll be unhappy (and bored) and the marriage won't last. For a marriage to thrive both parties need to be happy, healthy, stable, and have their needs being met on a regular basis.
So for any women who wants to know why men leave their wives it's usually because his needs aren't being met, and I don't just mean his sexual needs. I mean on some level he doesn't feel like you love, desire, or respect him and he will try to find someone who will.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Men Who Leave Their Wives
Many women have had to face the heartbreak of a relationship break up. It's never easy, and most would do just about anything to avoid a break up. Men who leave their wives have many reasons for doing so, but there are some things to keep in mind so you can hopefully avoid finding yourself in that painful situation.
One thing all women need to keep in mind, that might seem to go against everything they've ever heard or believed, is that men and women aren't all that different in what they want from a relationship, they just have different ways of getting it.
Men want their women to love, respect, and admire them. Most men want to feel like they are meeting all of the needs of their wives and girlfriends and they want their women to show a high level of appreciation. They want to be admired.
It's important for everyone to feel accepted for who they really are and feel like they are appreciated for all they do. Men, and women, will leave a relationship if these basic needs aren't met.
One common misconception is that men leave their wives because they have found another women who they are attracted to. While this may be true to a point, they were most likely already feeling like their needs weren't being met long before the 'other woman' came into the picture.
One of the difficult things for women to deal with is that most men either don't understand why they're feeling the way they are or they are unable, or unwilling, to try to discuss it and come up with a solution. They just know they are unhappy and are sick of feeling that way.
If you want to try to keep your relationship with your husband happy and healthy, it's important that you understand that even though he may express his needs in a different way than you he still has the same basic need to be loved and admired that you do. He wants to feel like he is your prince charming and is the most important person in the world to you. Meeting these needs will help ensure that your husband isn't one of the men who leave their wives.
One thing all women need to keep in mind, that might seem to go against everything they've ever heard or believed, is that men and women aren't all that different in what they want from a relationship, they just have different ways of getting it.
Men want their women to love, respect, and admire them. Most men want to feel like they are meeting all of the needs of their wives and girlfriends and they want their women to show a high level of appreciation. They want to be admired.
It's important for everyone to feel accepted for who they really are and feel like they are appreciated for all they do. Men, and women, will leave a relationship if these basic needs aren't met.
One common misconception is that men leave their wives because they have found another women who they are attracted to. While this may be true to a point, they were most likely already feeling like their needs weren't being met long before the 'other woman' came into the picture.
One of the difficult things for women to deal with is that most men either don't understand why they're feeling the way they are or they are unable, or unwilling, to try to discuss it and come up with a solution. They just know they are unhappy and are sick of feeling that way.
If you want to try to keep your relationship with your husband happy and healthy, it's important that you understand that even though he may express his needs in a different way than you he still has the same basic need to be loved and admired that you do. He wants to feel like he is your prince charming and is the most important person in the world to you. Meeting these needs will help ensure that your husband isn't one of the men who leave their wives.
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